do you ever meet someone who’s like the human version of unnecessary comments on a text post
not even a third wheel cause i dont have two friends
A Surprise Pride and Prejudice Engagement
(Note: This isn’t me)
See? This is a tailor-made proposal. Not some “big screen of basketball game nonsense. This person took into account his girlfriend’s pastimes and favourite things in the world, knew how close to the family she was and engineered the perfect engagement proposal, without a doubt managing to make sure this would please her (surely her mother and sisters would know).
This is how you do big gestures.
do you ever get the urge to clean your entire room and then 5 minutes after u start you’re like nah son and u just lay on the floor
this is so important.
you fucking asshole.
*goes to a party and awkwardly follows freind around the entire time*
My dad and I were in a hotel and he tried the coffee and smiled and said “ahh, it’s like making love in a canoe.” and I said, “it’s that good?” and he stopped smiling and looked me in the eye and said, “no, it’s fucking close to water" before pouring it down the drain really dramatically and walking away.
no but the best part is how he got the name:
his name was originally “potatoes,” and his owner, willoughby bertie, told the stable lad who helped him to write the horse’s name on a feed bin. the boy misheard it as, literally “pot-eight-o’s” and wrote it with 8 o’s. bertie found it so funny that he kept that as the horses name.